Friday, March 9, 2012

Christ and the Missionary Position


 “Nobody dies from a lack of sex. It’s a lack of love we die from.” -Anonymous 

The body of Christ, the church, whose mission is to be an agent of healing in the world, is in need of its own healing—sexual healing.

While sexuality is one of the hottest topics in our society, whether it’s concerning too much sex on television, if sex education should exist within the classroom, or the genetic engineering to pre-determine the gender or sex of an unborn child; it seems that it rarely comes up in the church. The only exception, quite often is when it is aimed at demonizing homosexuals during the quarterly gay bashing sermon. Then we spend an inordinate amount of time talking about the “sin” of sex and sexuality rather than talking about the importance of the body of Christ liberating itself and others to a deeper understanding of the intersection of spirituality and sexuality. This synergy brings strength to developing responsible and healthy sexual relationships and practices with one another.

During the Last Supper, Christ says to his disciples, “This is my body…” Perhaps this was one of Christ’s ways of opening up conversations with us about our own bodies. By pointing to his body, he infers that we can pay attention to our bodies; our eating, drinking, urinating, defecating, sexual, sensual, erotic and messy bodies. When we own and embrace our bodies, in all of its beauty and fullness—including the sexual, pleasurable, and sensual—our bodies become precious receptacles for God’s revelation and healing.

Some have suggested that we in the church are “erotic-phobic”. As people of faith we are fearful of eros, (the human yearning for sexual love and desire) with its sensual and sexual aspects. Yet, the Bible contains a book, the Song of Songs/Solomon that is visually vivid in its descriptions of the human form and how spiritually sensual the acknowledgement of the body can be.

Pope John Paul II even speaks of the way in which the lovers in the Song provide a true and liberating vision of the love that results when men and women allow the divine fire of agape to penetrate and permeate eros. Of course I believe, and have personally experienced, that God also allows that same desire to be experienced, not only amongst heterosexuals, but also same sex-couples. Love is not exclusive to heterosexuals, despite what we may have been taught which privileges heterosexuals and it oppresses homosexuals.

Eroticism, at its best, is where we learn that pleasure, whether hetero or homo, can be holy. The burden of responsible humanity is to acknowledge that while sex is good, it is not God. Erotic expression is personal and interpersonal, but not a private affair because our bodies do not belong to us, but rather we are stewards of our erotic power, gifted to us by the Creator.

In their new and controversial book, Real Marriage: The Truth about Sex, Friendship, and Life Together Mark and Grace Driscoll openly share how they have struggled in their marriage and how they have found healing through the only reliable source: The Bible.

While there are many that feel the book is yet another example of how a man, who was not having enough sex, uses the Bible (and the Songs of Songs) to influence his wife into changing her attitudes and behaviors, to meet his needs; it does openly address the role of sensuality and sexual expression between a married man and woman who claim Christianity and are committed to each other in both bond and spirit.

I reject, however, their definition and assertion that those two people have to be both a man and a woman and married. Good grief, can’t we all enjoy the love that God grants us through the body?  It is the mandate of the church to make love! When was the last time you made love in your church or at the very least learned how to?

Maybe more churches need to sing out of the Erotic Theologian, Marvin Gaye’s song book and recognize that Sexual Healing is something that’s good for... all those in body of Christ.
















4 comments:

  1. Souleman! How dare you talk about sex and the Church...don't you remember Mary was a Virgin...LOL

    You done went and done it again! All one needs to do is look at news reports to know many of the sex scandals being covered today are coming from individuals that once exposed, like to espouse their Christian Values and Morals.

    This is usually done to pave the way back to redemtpion, forgiveness and the opportunity to once again sit in their favorite pew and plot out a better startegy for not getting caught again! If only the church would be more open to letting people off the hook of sexual oppression/supression/depression.

    If more "Holier than thoughs" would learn that God loves us, not simply in our "Sunday Best", but in our raw nakedness, expressing that deep "make you want to slap your mama" senuality with the person we love and are comitted to in life regardless if it gay or straight.

    Maybe there could be less shouting and dancing on the alter each Sunday and more "Oh Jesus's" on Saturday night in the privacy of our santified bedrooms (living rooms, kitchens, back porches etc)if God's faithful could loosen up.

    Also, if more people were getting what they needed in their own Chritian heterosexual relationships, they might not have the time to be so darned worried what my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters were getting in ours and we could get along a little better as believers.

    Say Amen somebody!

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  2. A provocative post, much like the Song of Songs. Great use of imagery to continue drawing the reader's eye and enticing one to continue reading.

    Sexuality is a gift from God. Love is one of the greatest gifts from God ("faith, hope and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love" 1 Corinthians 13:13). And the act of sex between a loving couple can be the greatest physical expression of human love. Words often fall short of expressing the depth of love found in committed relationships. The gender of each partner in the loving relationship does not matter. Love is love.

    Good post.

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  3. Are their resources available to discuss these issues in the church? What about with youth?

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  4. I loved this post because it made me uncomfortable. I have considered myself a pro-sex, pro-sexuality girl. I think the church should take on issues of discrimination against LGBT for sure. I also, in theory, think the church should be talking about sex. Out with shame; in with joy and a healthy sexual ethic. It is so easy for me to read Carter Heyward, Rita Nakashima Brock, and Virginia Ramey Mollenkott talking about the erotic power of the sacred and sensuous spirituality. Then I read your blog and I get that nervous feeling. "OMG, can we really say that? Oh Lord, there are naked bodies in these pictures." It is good to come up against that fear and resistance in myself.

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